What if I told you that I have the secrets and skills to live the perfect life, have the best things, thrive in any and all relationships, feel comfortable in all social settings, have no more “bad days” and simply love all aspects of life? Would you believe me? Would you be interested? Are you thinking, tell me more?

I often like to explain to couples going through pre-marital work that, we are two imperfect people, from two imperfect families, coming together and discussing and designing the perfect relationship (in our own terms). Rarely do couples talk about the struggles they are planning to go through as a married couple. Couples usually do not plan the fights, arguments, disagreements, set-backs ahead of time – they just happen and yes, they will happen.

What is marriage for you?

A better question may be, “What can (or has) marriage done for you?” Was it what you thought it would be like? Is it better? Worse? Lots of questions, but there are so many more questions that need to be asked. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 90 percent of individuals get married before the age of 50, however 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. Rates are even higher for subsequent marriages. Another question I believe needs to be asked is, “What percentage of those marriages are happy and healthy?” I would assume that number is probably higher than it should be.

Living the perfect life does not exist, but that should not stop us from pursuing a perfect lifestyle. The perfect lifestyle can look different when it comes to different individuals, couples and families. Achieving a “perfect” life begins and continues with our expectations, our words, our thoughts, our actions, how we learn, how we grow, how we adapt, how we react. Regardless of our situations or circumstances:

The vows we deliver to our spouse means we will continue to be who we need to be regardless or despite if they are who they need to be.

Marriage is an incredible gift and a privilege and should be entered with realistic expectations and seen as a daily opportunity to love one another in the best way that you are capable of. I would encourage everybody to not settle for less. This does not mean end what you have begun, however, it does mean that you have numerous opportunities to grow, learn, think, challenge and be challenged, love and be loved, stretch, serve,and truly live out your “perfect” life. What are you waiting for? God’s plan for marriage is not waking up hoping for good day. God’s plan for marriage is waking up confident that your hope and trust in God allows your marriage to truly thrive and be… perfect.

I encourage anyone reading this to seek opportunities to grow as a couple or simply enrich your marriage by seeking resources around you. I would also encourage anyone who is single to seek some answers about marriage and/or relationships in general. If you have questions, please call me day or night at 317-474-6448 ext. 112. You may also email me at logan@groffandassociates.com at any time. I look forward to hearing from you.

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