Written by How many of you grew up in a home where you were truly allowed to thrive?
I’m talking about when you set out on your bike and really explored – when you listened to the entire soundtrack of “Toy Story” in your underwear creating a story filled with tragedy, hope and redemption – when you planned and conducted the most elaborate tea party where all of your guests were pampered to only the best.
Beyond exploration and imagination, did you grow up feeling loved unconditionally? Were you given the chance to be a child? What were your dreams then?
What are your dreams now?
How many of your grew up in a home where survival was your every day?
You hear the door open and close and your hold your breath… Dad’s home. Will I get yelled at again? Will I hear him fighting with mom? The school bell rings and you are so excited to see mom pull up, but you soon find yourself alone on the curb still waiting with anticipation eventually taken inside by a teacher to find a ride. Some people may say you’re mature for your age or you act older than you actually are. Is this a complement? What were your wishe, hopes, or dreams then?
What are your dreams now? What dreams have been lost?
When we marry, we must realize that we are two different people that came from two different families and the impact that can have. We have different memories and different experiences. Different strengths and weaknesses. We must know that God has given us this man/woman for the rest of our lives to complete each other, love the way Christ loves, and multiply that legacy.
Life Dreams & Shared Meaning
Have you ever asked your spouse what his/her dreams are? What their goals are? Hopes? Has it ever crossed your mind? These can be broken down into 4 main categories:
- Goals
- Roles
- Rituals
- Symbols
Earlier this year, I wrote an article about emotional communication and how to make your conversations more meaningful and significant. These conversations allow there to be the exploration of dreams that have been pursued, achieved, lost, buried, unhonored, disrespected, forgotten, given up on, etc.
You may be thinking, “I’ve asked about goals and dreams, all I got was ‘I don’t have time for that – it’s too late – I don’t know…’” This is a clue. This is a call to take action and go further! How can you honor the dreams unrealized or forgotten for your spouse. How long has your spouse waited for you to ask such a simple question?
Allow your conversations and marriage to thrive. No more “autopilot,” no more “same ole, same ole.”
What are your dreams?